What should I do?

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Ethan

Member
Sep 7, 2021
39
15
8
Bonner springs kansas
So my mom says im too young to know I'm gay but I know I'm gay and I feel like I'm getting pushed away by my mother and my father is nowhere to be seen so Idk what to do What should i do ?
 

Gigi

Active member
Jul 2, 2021
187
137
43
Brighton
Hi Ethan. I figured out I was pansexual when I was about 12. I have never doubted my identity since. If you feel it in your heart, then that’s who you are.
I’m happy with you that you came to terms with yourself that early in your life. For me it took much longer. I wish you nothing more than to become happy the way you are.

Gigi
 

SimplyDavy

Member
Dec 22, 2021
29
26
13
Florida
youtube.com
So my mom says im too young to know I'm gay but I know I'm gay and I feel like I'm getting pushed away by my mother and my father is nowhere to be seen so Idk what to do What should i do ?
Ethan,
I started to realise my affection for boys over girls probably when I was like 10, and I began to embrace my male celebrity crushes when I was 11. This was back in 1980. All the other boys felt this about me as well long before I had the words in my heart to describe my feelings. At 13 I was absolutely positive I was all about loving the boys.

So, I doubt you are too young. This is just your family trying to change who you are to make themselves feel more comfortable. The thing is with family is that they often do not validate you for fear that it will reflect badly on them within their friend circles and communities.

We already know the homophobes make our lives miserable sometimes, but those same people can make our families miserable as well. They may not be up to the task of losing friendships or their standing in the community by supporting you. And I think in their heart they know it is horrible not to love their own children so the only way they can cope is to have some form of denial which in your case is them saying you couldn’t possibly know your sexuality at your age. But that is utter rubbish. Little hetero kids know when they are attracted or feel butterflies from the opposite sex just as we feel with our same sex crushes.

As far as what to do. Well you will ultimately have to bide your time if they are not validating you, because you really don’t want to end up on the streets if things go badly. But I also would be true to yourself and not let go of who you know you are. Be open with your trusted friends and your cousin, but you’ll unfortunately have to be careful with how much and how fast you start sharing aspects with your mum and dad.
 

Gigi

Active member
Jul 2, 2021
187
137
43
Brighton
I absolutely agree with SimplyDavy’s proposals to be careful to whom you come out. It’s a good thing that you have your cousin to trust on. Talking helps a lot.

Might be one day your parents will accept you the way you are, but we know about bad and very bad examples; please be careful. Btw I never came out to my family, it was like in the army: don’t ask - don’t tell. I always avoided the confrontation and tried to live my way. Looking back I think it’s been a mistake, but we’re all different, not only regarding our sexual orientation.

Anyway, as long as you’re dependent to your family: be careful and think twice (although it’s difficult sometimes).

Stay safe

Gigi
 

Gigi

Active member
Jul 2, 2021
187
137
43
Brighton
...and, to underline it again, we’re here for you on your side. If you want to talk, here we are. You might also choose the personal chat, be sure we’ll do all to sustain you.

Gigi

Sometimes it takes me a little bit longer to finish my answer. Your case reminded me to the point in time when I really came to terms with myself. In the consequence I wanted to climb up a tower and shout it into the town “listen all - l’m gay!!!”

Fortunately I didn’t do it. But I think I understand the inwardly pressure you’re experiencing to come out. But regretfully not all people around you might be disposed to accept your message in a good way.

Gigi
 

AudryLeigh

Administrator
Staff member
Paid Membership
Jan 2, 2022
74
79
18
Eugene, Oregon, USA
So my mom says im too young to know
It's a crying shame that so many parents are so ignorant about things like this. People should be required to take classes and get a license before they can have kids (LOL). I have dealt with so many young people who were everything from unhappy to suicidal because their parents wouldn't listen to them and wouldn't educate themselves. This is the 21st Century! We're Queer, and we're here -- GET USED TO IT! Whatever you do, stay safe! And remember that we're here for you. Feel free to PM me any time about anything.

Hugs,
Audry Leigh
 
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Barefoot

Administrator
Staff member
Paid Membership
Jan 12, 2022
24
27
13
Maine USA
Since we are born the way we are, why wouldn't we know at some young age? We're pretty young when we're born! We have sexual feelings and attractions even before puberty. Certainly those feelings and attractions indicate to us (if we are sufficiently aware to know what they mean) what our sexual preferences are. If we can know that we feel attracted to the opposite sex at a young age, why can we not know that we are attracted to the same sex? It's science, but not rocket science, I wonder if the parents are hoping against hope here.
 
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Gigi

Active member
Jul 2, 2021
187
137
43
Brighton
Since we are born the way we are, why wouldn't we know at some young age? We're pretty young when we're born! We have sexual feelings and attractions even before puberty. Certainly those feelings and attractions indicate to us (if we are sufficiently aware to know what they mean) what our sexual preferences are. If we can know that we feel attracted to the opposite sex at a young age, why can we not know that we are attracted to the same sex? It's science, but not rocket science, I wonder if the parents are hoping against hope here.
That’s my sentence:

if we are sufficiently aware to know what they mean

When I was young, I absolutely had no clue. But today, parents should accept that their children even at a tender age know what they are feeling and talking about.

I guess parents often try to deny the message of their children because they don’t like the truth.

Gigi
 

Gigi

Active member
Jul 2, 2021
187
137
43
Brighton
I'm going on 15 and im worried I will never find love

Hi Ethan,

you’re young and you’re living in a manageable vicinity. I don’t know exactly the social climate, but in smaller towns with a more rural community it will not be that easy for a boy to find a boyfriend. I remember, when I was your age, my straight classmates started dating girlfriends and boasting about their adventures. I stood silently aside and could only tell to be interested into playing soccer and being engaged with the Boy Scouts.

I had my first affair when I was some years older than you’re now. It’s not been a decision to wait, it’s been a result of different reasons.

I absolutely understand that you’re longing for somebody to be together with, I would wish you to find him today, but....

I’m sure you’ll find him, but please remain patient, although sometimes it seems unbearable.

Gigi
 

SimplyDavy

Member
Dec 22, 2021
29
26
13
Florida
youtube.com
It's a crying shame that so many parents are so ignorant about things like this. People should be required to take classes and get a license before they can have kids (LOL). I have dealt with so many young people who were everything from unhappy to suicidal because their parents wouldn't listen to them and wouldn't educate themselves. This is the 21st Century! We're Queer, and we're here -- GET USED TO IT! Whatever you do, stay safe! And remember that we're here for you. Feel free to PM me any time about anything.

Hugs,
Audry Leigh
Preach it, Audrey Leigh!! Yes we are here for you, Ethan.
 
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