Relationships. Holidays. Advice.

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kw15

New member
Sep 12, 2021
6
6
3
Florida
Together for 3 years. My family is accepting and welcoming. Her family, not welcomed. I'm not sure how to go about this. I want to spend Holidays together, regardless of where we go, I want to spend them with her. She wants to be with her family, that doesn't accept her for being gay but loves everything else about her. I'm not welcomed to be around. I don't want to be selfish, I know this is a terrible position for her. I don't even know how to go about this anymore. I don't want to spend Holidays without her, let alone, alone. We are both transplants, neither of us live close to our family. She's able to take the full week off during Holidays, I only get the actual day off. Advice.
 

Isbjorn

New member
Aug 28, 2021
9
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52
Nevada, USA
Wish I had some good advice to give, but it is nothing I have had to deal with. I do not think that it is fair that her family accepts her, but not her orientation. To me that smacks of love, but only conditionally. That, to me, is a broken or dysfunctional family.

I wouldn't blame her, though. I'm not saying that you are. She is in a rough spot. Wanting to love and be loved by her family that she grew up with. The pressure must be immense. I think it is great that despite her family's feelings; she is maintaining your relationship.

I guess my advice, if there would be any is to support her in a way her family doesn't. Though hard, let her go without guilt. I am sure that she gets enough shit from her family to deal with while there regardless if you are with her or not, but with you there it may be even harder, while at the same time she is trying to see the good in her family through the BS and making the best of it with them she can. When she gets back, celebrate then and give her the unconditional love she deserves.
 
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kw15

New member
Sep 12, 2021
6
6
3
Florida
You're first paragraph is spot on with how I see it too. They only love the parts they want, not all of you. I struggle with her going, obviously not going to try to stop her.
 
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