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psilime

New member
Aug 23, 2021
2
2
1
United States
Hi! My name is Rey and I am a pansexual nonbinary 18-year-old (they/them pronouns). I am new to this forum and I joined because I have a bit of a concerning issue that I want to make light of because, as far as I can tell, I cannot do anything about it legally. I have been raised Catholic my entire life and am currently enrolled in a Catholic high school in Kansas. I have my opinions on the Church's teachings on homosexuality, but that is a topic for another time. I just started school last Friday and my brother brought a very concerning addition to our student handbook to my attention. Attached below are pictures of the new policies our school has enforced regarding the LGBT folk who, unknowingly to the school admins apparently, make up a good-sized portion of our school.
Now, upon my first reading of this material, I was shocked and appalled. I find it absolutely disgusting that our school is now enforcing this type of blatant discrimination towards us over aspects of ourselves that we cannot control or change. I was equally as frustrated and upset to find that, after conducting some research, I do not think that I am legally able to do anything about this since my school is a private school that does not receive any government funding and, thus, does not need to follow the same laws and is eligible to create its own guidelines on the basis of religious beliefs. I cannot even go to my parents for any kind of advice regarding this situation, as they are very firm in their Catholic beliefs and would almost certainly shun me if I were to come out to them. This is a cry for help. I want to know if there is anything that can be done regarding this issue. Religious freedom is one thing, and I cannot change what the Church thinks or teaches on the topic of gender and sexuality, but human rights are another thing entirely. One person's freedom ends where another's begins. I am not persecuting anyone for simply existing, yet my school is using religion as the basis for persecuting me and many other students. I will provide more details if people ask for them, I just really wanted to get this out there and let people at least listen to my story.
 

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Gigi

Member
Jul 2, 2021
50
37
18
Brighton
Hi Rey,

You’re in a really bad situation, I’m very sorry for you. As I see it, you’ve to try to survive this school period because you’re dependent to your parents, who pay for all.

Independence is also a material affair. I wish you to reach this position as soon as possible, it would give you much more possibilities to be yourself.

Regretfully you’re not the only one to live in a situation where you have to cover who you’re really. It’s a shame, but it’s like this at places all over the world.

I wish you a lot of strength to survive this school, in my thoughts I’m with you.

Gigi
 
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psilime

New member
Aug 23, 2021
2
2
1
United States
Hi Rey,

You’re in a really bad situation, I’m very sorry for you. As I see it, you’ve to try to survive this school period because you’re dependent to your parents, who pay for all.

Independence is also a material affair. I wish you to reach this position as soon as possible, it would give you much more possibilities to be yourself.

Regretfully you’re not the only one to live in a situation where you have to cover who you’re really. It’s a shame, but it’s like this at places all over the world.

I wish you a lot of strength to survive this school, in my thoughts I’m with you.

Gigi
Yeah, I wish there was some way to change the rules because I know I'm not the only one at this school who's suffering under the new policies. It is comforting to know that people are here to listen, though. Thank you! <3
 

Gigi

Member
Jul 2, 2021
50
37
18
Brighton
Hi Rey,

I’m sad about the fact that I can’t do more for you than telling you to be on your side.

I guess, it’s not possible to ask your parents to change the school with whatever reason. It’s regretfully a reality that a lot of queer people can’t come out and live their life like the way they really feel deep inside for a lot of and sometimes life threatening reasons.

I’m glad that at least in this forum we can be the ones who we really are.

Gigi
 

Momsen93

New member
Aug 26, 2021
11
10
3
New York
Rey,

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it seems far away now, but someday you will be an adult and won't have to deal with these hateful school officials, or your parents, anymore. My inbox is open if you need to vent or talk <3

Momsen
 

Isbjorn

New member
Aug 28, 2021
9
11
3
52
Nevada, USA
I see that you are 18, that means you do not have much further to go with High School, I assume. That being said, I can tell you it does get better. Unfortunately right now, because of the nature of the school, I believe you are correct there is nothing you can do about this and I am sorry about that. It isn't religion, or in this case Christianity that is the issue, more it is the church, and there is a difference between them. That is a whole other topic!

It isn't your age that is the sticky point. You are old enough to give the school the bird, if you wish. However, under the circumstances that is not wise. Legally, the school is within it's rights. Like I said, you could give them the bird, but the consequences would probably not be to your liking. Things like not being able to attend that school, possibly having to fend for yourself (being 18 and your parents telling you to pack sand, you're on your own), having to finish High School at another school that may not be as good, possibly losing college, or a means of paying for said.

There are so many things wrong with your situation, let me tell you what is right. You are nearly through with it and it will be over before you know it. Once you finish High School and have that Diploma well and truly in your possession you can leave and not look back. Life isn't easy, but you will have more choices and be able to make it so much better for yourself. Some of the most rewarding options in life come with a cost. When you adult, which I try not to do as much as possible, you have to weigh what you want wit how much it will cost. Like how long do I have to put up with this shit, and how much am I willing to put up with to get what I REALLY want.

Good luck to you, I am in your corner, take care of you and be you to yourself, even if you can't be you to everyone yet. Peace!
 
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Gigi

Member
Jul 2, 2021
50
37
18
Brighton
Hi Rey,

I’m with Isbjorn: “keep a stiff upper lip” or “hang in there”, as you may say across the pond, and you’ll get over this damned bloody school (language 🙈). Think of us aside you.

Gigi
 

Jme

New member
Sep 13, 2021
3
1
3
Somewhere
Hi! My name is Rey and I am a pansexual nonbinary 18-year-old (they/them pronouns). I am new to this forum and I joined because I have a bit of a concerning issue that I want to make light of because, as far as I can tell, I cannot do anything about it legally. I have been raised Catholic my entire life and am currently enrolled in a Catholic high school in Kansas. I have my opinions on the Church's teachings on homosexuality, but that is a topic for another time. I just started school last Friday and my brother brought a very concerning addition to our student handbook to my attention. Attached below are pictures of the new policies our school has enforced regarding the LGBT folk who, unknowingly to the school admins apparently, make up a good-sized portion of our school.
Now, upon my first reading of this material, I was shocked and appalled. I find it absolutely disgusting that our school is now enforcing this type of blatant discrimination towards us over aspects of ourselves that we cannot control or change. I was equally as frustrated and upset to find that, after conducting some research, I do not think that I am legally able to do anything about this since my school is a private school that does not receive any government funding and, thus, does not need to follow the same laws and is eligible to create its own guidelines on the basis of religious beliefs. I cannot even go to my parents for any kind of advice regarding this situation, as they are very firm in their Catholic beliefs and would almost certainly shun me if I were to come out to them. This is a cry for help. I want to know if there is anything that can be done regarding this issue. Religious freedom is one thing, and I cannot change what the Church thinks or teaches on the topic of gender and sexuality, but human rights are another thing entirely. One person's freedom ends where another's begins. I am not persecuting anyone for simply existing, yet my school is using religion as the basis for persecuting me and many other students. I will provide more details if people ask for them, I just really wanted to get this out there and let people at least listen to my story.
Unfortunatly private schools have very few protections, and religious private ones even fewer. Unfortunatly from what I've found it seems like the best option is to just endure it, hide that you are pansexual and nonbinary, and then once you get out of that school you can do whatever you want :/ Maybe you would be able to file a lawsuit against the school, but idk you'd need to ask a lawyer for that. Sorry :(
 
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EdStern

New member
Sep 13, 2021
7
5
3
Falls Church, VA
You have some very sound assessments here. This is apparently a newer school, but as someone mentioned you're 18 so you should be in your last year. Gender and sexuality are yours and nobody can take that away. Your situation is awkward and disheartening and if it makes you feel better you're not alone. So some suggestions.

  • First, consider getting peer support through The Trevor Project (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/) when you need it They have great online support from peers if you're feeling stressed, depressed, anxious, etc.
  • Consider chatting with peers you trust (maybe get your brother's help... seems like he knows your identity?) OUTSIDE of school about what they are doing and how they care coping. You want to do it outside of school so it can't be considered a school violation.
Above all keep safe
 
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