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AN EMKA

New member
Aug 9, 2021
5
4
3
Greece
Hey! I really need to tell this to someone. So, I live in a very conservative family and I haven't come out yet as a lesbian. We are in a really bad financial situation and I just started running an online business (with no results yet) to help somehow my mother (and also my bigger sister helps with her job). But I really hate my homophobic family and need my freedom, I just want to grab my bag and leave. But I can't do this cause I can't leave my family with nothing just like that. I need advice on how to survive this cause it's really like a bag of bricks on me.
 

Gigi

Member
Jul 2, 2021
53
42
18
Brighton
Greece 🇬🇷 is not in a very good economic situation. Would you have a chance to stand on your own feet? If not, you should think twice about starting the conflict with your family. Anyway I would try to organise a position to live on my own. If you’re able to it’s easier to tell your family that you want to live your life according to your sexual orientation. They can accept and you decide to stay or leave. If they don’t accept you this way, you have, regretfully respectively to the family life, the ability to leave.

Gigi
 

Beth Taylor

New member
Sep 1, 2021
7
16
3
51
Italy
www.blissful-transformation.com
Hey! I really need to tell this to someone. So, I live in a very conservative family and I haven't come out yet as a lesbian. We are in a really bad financial situation and I just started running an online business (with no results yet) to help somehow my mother (and also my bigger sister helps with her job). But I really hate my homophobic family and need my freedom, I just want to grab my bag and leave. But I can't do this cause I can't leave my family with nothing just like that. I need advice on how to survive this cause it's really like a bag of bricks on me.
Its a difficult situation to be in but I think like most of the replies on here your family has 2 choices: a)stick by you OR b) let you go....... either way it has to be your decision and by the sound of your message here I think you are ready to go for it! Just make sure you have some support on the other side ie. a network of friends who you can talk to. In the long run you cannot support your family - that's not your job sweetie x hope that helps :)
 

Gigi

Member
Jul 2, 2021
53
42
18
Brighton
Ciao Beth,

sono assolutamente d’accordo con te.

Cara AN EMKA,

thinking of the long term, Beth is right. The decision to support your parents includes the renouncement to your own life respective your sexual orientation. Look for support out of your family and then step by step start your own life. I understand the difficulties, I always avoided the dispute with my parents. But now I’m old and not happy.

Gigi
 

Beth Taylor

New member
Sep 1, 2021
7
16
3
51
Italy
www.blissful-transformation.com
Ciao Beth,

sono assolutamente d’accordo con te.

Cara AN EMKA,

thinking of the long term, Beth is right. The decision to support your parents includes the renouncement to your own life respective your sexual orientation. Look for support out of your family and then step by step start your own life. I understand the difficulties, I always avoided the dispute with my parents. But now I’m old and not happy.

Gigi
Thanks Gigi :) it's important to put yourself first however selfish that may sound - you can't give from an empty cup! It all starts with your own happiness first and then like dominoes it has a knock on effect to others x I'm always here to help my lesbian community so if you need to chat or know anyone who does please feel free to pass on my info x
 

Ridiculousbeat

New member
Oct 24, 2021
9
7
3
India
Hi, I am late to the forum but I just wanted to say that it really works out well for you.

I understand how the situation must be tough for you. Even if you are in the space of thinking for yourself, I think we all agree that the transition comes at its own pace sometimes. And that is completely alright. Even as you are helping your family to build a foundation, is it possible that the work you are doing is also helping you to build your independent life? If yes, continue your work. Keep putting one foot of the other. Do it for yourself if not for anyone else and be comfortable with your situation.

I tell myself that people may or may not accept me the way I accept myself right away. So while I can build a surrounding that is comfortable for me, I would rather focus on my life and build my foundation. Maybe you can think of something that helps you in such a way?
 
Nov 3, 2021
8
7
3
Michigan
apathoe.com
Thanks Gigi :) it's important to put yourself first however selfish that may sound - you can't give from an empty cup! It all starts with your own happiness first and then like dominoes it has a knock on effect to others x I'm always here to help my lesbian community so if you need to chat or know anyone who does please feel free to pass on my info x
Beth, you are very compassionate and giving, that is so refreshing to see. I am the Outreach Minister of a new LGBTQIA+ spiritual Unchurch, plus lots of outreach programs, support groups etc. We are always looking for positive, supportive people to join us in finishing up the start up phase, if you are interested in hearing more, let me know, you may be a perfect fit. Namaste
 
Nov 3, 2021
8
7
3
Michigan
apathoe.com
Hi, I am late to the forum but I just wanted to say that it really works out well for you.

I understand how the situation must be tough for you. Even if you are in the space of thinking for yourself, I think we all agree that the transition comes at its own pace sometimes. And that is completely alright. Even as you are helping your family to build a foundation, is it possible that the work you are doing is also helping you to build your independent life? If yes, continue your work. Keep putting one foot of the other. Do it for yourself if not for anyone else and be comfortable with your situation.

I tell myself that people may or may not accept me the way I accept myself right away. So while I can build a surrounding that is comfortable for me, I would rather focus on my life and build my foundation. Maybe you can think of something that helps you in such a way?
Very nice reply, and so supportive and compassionate. Sounds like maybe you have done some of your own work on yourself. It is a hard, but so worth it....it is a journey. If you are interested in assisting in a start up LGBTQIA spiritual movement, message me. We are about peace, love, kindness, social justice, making this world more loving and accepting place for our LGBTQIA community. Namast
 
Nov 3, 2021
8
7
3
Michigan
apathoe.com
Hey! I really need to tell this to someone. So, I live in a very conservative family and I haven't come out yet as a lesbian. We are in a really bad financial situation and I just started running an online business (with no results yet) to help somehow my mother (and also my bigger sister helps with her job). But I really hate my homophobic family and need my freedom, I just want to grab my bag and leave. But I can't do this cause I can't leave my family with nothing just like that. I need advice on how to survive this cause it's really like a bag of bricks on me.
Family sometimes add to making our choices difficult. They create this unique situation, unlike anyone else, because most of the time we fear losing our family, making our family angry with us, disappointing them, etc. They hold a special place in our beings, but each of us deserves those around us to support and love us unconditionally. They don't have to understand our lifestyle/sexual orientation, they just need to trust us that this is who we are and love us for who we are, with no judgment. What I know is that you have a family outside of your family in the LGBTQIA community. Be who you are, live who you are.....find your support system outside your family of birth, and let them hold you up during this time. It sounds like you have a good start right here in this forum. Feel free to message me anytime, I am the Outreach minister for a LGBTQIA unchurch/movement, making a difference in our community all over the globe. You are strong. Namaste
 

Nico

New member
Nov 19, 2021
1
2
1
Atl
Hey! I really need to tell this to someone. So, I live in a very conservative family and I haven't come out yet as a lesbian. We are in a really bad financial situation and I just started running an online business (with no results yet) to help somehow my mother (and also my bigger sister helps with her job). But I really hate my homophobic family and need my freedom, I just want to grab my bag and leave. But I can't do this cause I can't leave my family with nothing just like that. I need advice on how to survive this cause it's really like a bag of bricks on me.
An Emka: I understand your situation because I was in it once, I left home with no plan and no productive skills in search for ‘freedom’ to find and experience ‘love’ as I once imagined it. This is the trick; you’re mind, when dominated by anger will not be able to make a decide what’s best for you. An online business is a tremendously difficult task to pull off, it may take years for you to do that. And the inner cities are a lot more dangerous than you can imagine. What you don’t know, is that the suffocating religious environment you’re trapped in, was created to protect you, from sins like wrath, envy and lust. Work is the best way you can learn both, how to overcome you’re anger, and to find an independent way of living. My advice is, find a job as soon as possible, learn something, two jobs if possible; practice art, make a decent resume¡ wether it’s drawing or music whatever, drown you’re self in activities that allow you to stay in this oppressive enviroment for one more year, stay for as long as you can, plan ahead, don’t improvise. because one day you’ll have to leave, and you better have some survival skills. Don’t leave unprepared ¡ don’t stay and be depressed, prepare yourself for the world. It’s tough out here. But you can do it, just don’t underestimate the journey.
 
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