I don't know what to do - maybe someone has some advice


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okaywell

New member
Oct 16, 2021
5
0
1
UK
Hi guys,

so I don't even know where to start, as the title says - I really don't know, what to do anymore or who or where to turn to. I basically lost almost everything or rather everyone in my life over this last year - nobody died, well one person did, but most of them I just lost.
I have struggled with my mental health for a while now too and it's really tough getting help. I'm seeing a therapist, but not really regularly, because I can't afford it and they didn't help all that much yet.
I live alone, but right now I'm staying with someone I thought I could feel safe with, in the sense that they'd care for me & kind of take care of me, but they don't really.

The thing is - I just feel so f***** alone, like I don't have anyone or anything anymore. Not even this place. I wanna go home, but all that's waiting there for me is an empty, tiny apartment.

I'm really a positive person, or at least I used to be. I want to live life and enjoy it, but it's just too much.

Has anyone of you felt the same? How did you deal with it? Does anyone have an idea what to do?
I am going out in nature, trying to exercise, meditate, be kind to myself & all that jazz, but that's just not enough, I feel like.
 

Mark Laymon

Mark Laymon
Staff member
May 11, 2020
194
42
28
Florida
LGBT.net
Yes, nearly everyone I know has been saying the same and is going though the same the past two years. I am in Florida, so everything is lifting, but many are still hiding at home and not venturing out yet.
 

Gigi

Member
Jul 2, 2021
52
42
18
Brighton
Hi guys,

so I don't even know where to start, as the title says - I really don't know, what to do anymore or who or where to turn to. I basically lost almost everything or rather everyone in my life over this last year - nobody died, well one person did, but most of them I just lost.
I have struggled with my mental health for a while now too and it's really tough getting help. I'm seeing a therapist, but not really regularly, because I can't afford it and they didn't help all that much yet.
I live alone, but right now I'm staying with someone I thought I could feel safe with, in the sense that they'd care for me & kind of take care of me, but they don't really.

The thing is - I just feel so f***** alone, like I don't have anyone or anything anymore. Not even this place. I wanna go home, but all that's waiting there for me is an empty, tiny apartment.

I'm really a positive person, or at least I used to be. I want to live life and enjoy it, but it's just too much.

Has anyone of you felt the same? How did you deal with it? Does anyone have an idea what to do?
I am going out in nature, trying to exercise, meditate, be kind to myself & all that jazz, but that's just not enough, I feel like.
Hi okaywell,

the last time with Covid and self isolation and keeping distance and so on was tough for all of us. I started meditation and must say, it helped a little.

I like doing long distance running. In relation to that I joined now an athletic group. It’s sports and small talk, helps a little bit to take my mind of things.

Hope you find a way for happier days.

Gigi
 
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Charla

New member
Oct 13, 2021
3
4
3
Canada
Hey okaywell, sorry to hear your feeling isolated. With Covid lock down many of us are. It's good that your coming somewhere to be heard. You seem worried about your mental health. I go through some mental health struggles too so maybe I can offer some advice?

It's good that your going to therapy and you should stay with it if you can. I find it hard to come up with what I want to say to a therapist in the moment. I find writing down my thoughts and feelings when they come to me is both helpful in the moment and allows me to better communicate to the therapist when I see them.

I'm not familiar with lock down restrictions where you live, or your relationships with family, but can you still go see them? Or maybe at least talk/text with them? I was isolated from family and I started to feel horrible, but restrictions relaxed a bit and when I was able to see them I felt a lot better.

It sucks that person isn't helping you as much as you thought they would. Helping someone with mental health struggles comes with a whole bunch of challenges that are not easy to overcome, and are different for every person. Basically I'm saying you should be careful with putting your well being in other peoples' hands because it's very heavy and fragile. I hope you find someone that can be there for you.

And it's good that your trying to stay positive and keep exercising/meditating! Even if it feels like it's not enough, it's keeping you in a healthier state, so keep at it! Also I don't know if your artistic in any way (and even if your not, you could always start!), but I find doing art and working on personal projects to be very good for my mental health.

Wish you the best!
 
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Gigi

Member
Jul 2, 2021
52
42
18
Brighton
Hey okaywell, sorry to hear your feeling isolated. With Covid lock down many of us are. It's good that your coming somewhere to be heard. You seem worried about your mental health. I go through some mental health struggles too so maybe I can offer some advice?

It's good that your going to therapy and you should stay with it if you can. I find it hard to come up with what I want to say to a therapist in the moment. I find writing down my thoughts and feelings when they come to me is both helpful in the moment and allows me to better communicate to the therapist when I see them.

I'm not familiar with lock down restrictions where you live, or your relationships with family, but can you still go see them? Or maybe at least talk/text with them? I was isolated from family and I started to feel horrible, but restrictions relaxed a bit and when I was able to see them I felt a lot better.

It sucks that person isn't helping you as much as you thought they would. Helping someone with mental health struggles comes with a whole bunch of challenges that are not easy to overcome, and are different for every person. Basically I'm saying you should be careful with putting your well being in other peoples' hands because it's very heavy and fragile. I hope you find someone that can be there for you.

And it's good that your trying to stay positive and keep exercising/meditating! Even if it feels like it's not enough, it's keeping you in a healthier state, so keep at it! Also I don't know if your artistic in any way (and even if your not, you could always start!), but I find doing art and working on personal projects to be very good for my mental health.

Wish you the best!
Hi Charla,

I absolutely agree with your proposals. It’s important for all of us especially with this damned bloody Covid to encourage each other to move forward. Last year there were days I didn’t want to leave my bed all the day. With meditation and back to sports I was lucky to regain a little bit. I hope there will be also a way for okaywell to find possibilities to move forward and feel better.

Gigi
 
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Ridiculousbeat

New member
Oct 24, 2021
9
7
3
India
Hi guys,

so I don't even know where to start, as the title says - I really don't know, what to do anymore or who or where to turn to. I basically lost almost everything or rather everyone in my life over this last year - nobody died, well one person did, but most of them I just lost.
I have struggled with my mental health for a while now too and it's really tough getting help. I'm seeing a therapist, but not really regularly, because I can't afford it and they didn't help all that much yet.
I live alone, but right now I'm staying with someone I thought I could feel safe with, in the sense that they'd care for me & kind of take care of me, but they don't really.

The thing is - I just feel so f***** alone, like I don't have anyone or anything anymore. Not even this place. I wanna go home, but all that's waiting there for me is an empty, tiny apartment.

I'm really a positive person, or at least I used to be. I want to live life and enjoy it, but it's just too much.

Has anyone of you felt the same? How did you deal with it? Does anyone have an idea what to do?
I am going out in nature, trying to exercise, meditate, be kind to myself & all that jazz, but that's just not enough, I feel like.
Hello okay well,

You're not alone. Yes, I have felt the same from time to time. In fact, it has been quite a lot such incidents lately. So you're definitely not alone.

The ideas and suggestions shared so far are really nice. I second them and I really hope it works out for you. One day at a time right?

I too like to blend with nature and exercise, meditate, listen to music and such. On some days though, it all helps only when I want it, you know?! So on really tough days, I tell myself "It's okay to feel low. It's completely fine to be confused and burdened." This gives me space to be human and gave natural human emotions. I give myself a time until which I give myself space to be grounded. After the time is up, I tell myself that if my situation is not appealing to me anymore, it is up to me to change it. And then begins the work.

If I may share what else helps me:
I think back to other situations that have been tough for me. I tell myself that there is no way the current situation is the first hardship of my life. I've been through enough obstacles before and the reason I am not losing it completely right now is because I've been learning all this time. All the obstacles in my life, if nothing else, at least taught me that eventually I am going to be able to overcome it. I always do. And THAT level of acceptance and trust helps be accept the situation completely.

Maybe it is the same for you? You may have had speed bumps in your life before this. Did you sometimes drive over your speed bumps really fast? Did you sometimes drive very carefully so as not to damage your car? Did you sometimes accidently stop on the speed bump, realised what was happening and start your car again? Well, hasn't it been the same with your life?

You've got this!
 
  • Like
Reactions: okaywell and Gigi

okaywell

New member
Oct 16, 2021
5
0
1
UK
Hey okaywell, sorry to hear your feeling isolated. With Covid lock down many of us are. It's good that your coming somewhere to be heard. You seem worried about your mental health. I go through some mental health struggles too so maybe I can offer some advice?

It's good that your going to therapy and you should stay with it if you can. I find it hard to come up with what I want to say to a therapist in the moment. I find writing down my thoughts and feelings when they come to me is both helpful in the moment and allows me to better communicate to the therapist when I see them.

I'm not familiar with lock down restrictions where you live, or your relationships with family, but can you still go see them? Or maybe at least talk/text with them? I was isolated from family and I started to feel horrible, but restrictions relaxed a bit and when I was able to see them I felt a lot better.

It sucks that person isn't helping you as much as you thought they would. Helping someone with mental health struggles comes with a whole bunch of challenges that are not easy to overcome, and are different for every person. Basically I'm saying you should be careful with putting your well being in other peoples' hands because it's very heavy and fragile. I hope you find someone that can be there for you.

And it's good that your trying to stay positive and keep exercising/meditating! Even if it feels like it's not enough, it's keeping you in a healthier state, so keep at it! Also I don't know if your artistic in any way (and even if your not, you could always start!), but I find doing art and working on personal projects to be very good for my mental health.

Wish you the best!
Thank you so much! I only now read your reply.

Well my situation has gotten a bit worse. I'm staying with my mom, but the longer I stay the more difficult it gets. I don't have anyone at home (where I actually live) anymore though and they are in lockdown there, so I couldn't do anything or find new people to be with. When I'm with my mom, at least I'm not alone. And she means well, even if she can't help. We just have a lot of different opinions on things and different needs, which makes living together a bit difficult.
And I'm trying not to be a burden on anyone, especially my mom, because I know how hard it can be to see your child go through something like that.
But I have no one else at the moment, so I kind of do need her. She makes my anxiety worse sometimes, though, so I avoid talking to her about difficult topics.

And I am artistic, yes :) I make music & it does help, when I find the time & energy to do it. Most times I start to cry though, so can't keep it up too long, haha. And I try to write down my thoughts (sometimes in lyrics for my music) too and find it helps a lot.

I'm actually proud of myself for still keeping my head up, trying to find a solution and trying to take good care of myself. Even if it's hard. I don't want to die, I really don't.

Sorry for blabbering on haha, thank you so much for taking the time and responding.

Hope you're doing well! <3
 

okaywell

New member
Oct 16, 2021
5
0
1
UK
Hello okay well,

You're not alone. Yes, I have felt the same from time to time. In fact, it has been quite a lot such incidents lately. So you're definitely not alone.

The ideas and suggestions shared so far are really nice. I second them and I really hope it works out for you. One day at a time right?

I too like to blend with nature and exercise, meditate, listen to music and such. On some days though, it all helps only when I want it, you know?! So on really tough days, I tell myself "It's okay to feel low. It's completely fine to be confused and burdened." This gives me space to be human and gave natural human emotions. I give myself a time until which I give myself space to be grounded. After the time is up, I tell myself that if my situation is not appealing to me anymore, it is up to me to change it. And then begins the work.

If I may share what else helps me:
I think back to other situations that have been tough for me. I tell myself that there is no way the current situation is the first hardship of my life. I've been through enough obstacles before and the reason I am not losing it completely right now is because I've been learning all this time. All the obstacles in my life, if nothing else, at least taught me that eventually I am going to be able to overcome it. I always do. And THAT level of acceptance and trust helps be accept the situation completely.

Maybe it is the same for you? You may have had speed bumps in your life before this. Did you sometimes drive over your speed bumps really fast? Did you sometimes drive very carefully so as not to damage your car? Did you sometimes accidently stop on the speed bump, realised what was happening and start your car again? Well, hasn't it been the same with your life?

You've got this!
Hi ridiculousbeat,

thank you so much, too!

I can only agree, even if it's hard sometimes, it's good to let the emotions through and just acknowledge how you're feeling in that moment and that it's fine, because you're only human.
And I do the same - think about how I've gotten through other challenging times. As weird as that sounds, but that's about the only reason why I'm not suicidal. When I went through something similar years back, I wanted to give up, but kept on going for my family. Now I keep on going for myself. Because I know this doesn't last forever and it will get better. The only question is when. Because it's been going on for far too long already haha.

Anyways I do agree with you.
And again thank you!! <3
 


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