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New member
Aug 1, 2021
United States
I've already come out as gay about 4 years ago, and I've been very comfortable with that label for a while now. I've started to come out to close friends as asexual as well. I've kind of ignored my gender identity the whole time, until it slapped me in the face during the summer. I don't know how to come out a third time - will it just seem like I'm changing at will? And with something like gender identity, it feels so much more visceral and cutting than sexuality. At least with sexuality I can kind of hide it; gender identity is a lot more *in your face* if you know what I mean. I think I'm genderfluid but more masculine, and I really want to get top surgery and change my style, but that means that I would actually have to come out and change the way people perceive me. With being asexual at least, that's not something I'm telling most people just because I don't have to - It saves me a coming out. It's something that doesn't change my mannerisms like coming out as gay did, because that was the first time I had ever questioned my sexuality. With being asexual, it feels more comfortable, and I don't feel as hesitant because I"m more certain of myself. With being genderfluid, my pronouns are constantly changing, and it's so hard to validate myself. It's like I'm back to coming out as gay, but this time I want to change myself and my name and basically everything about me. How do you come out as a different gender? How do you get the courage to come out yet again? To anyone who has come out a lot - how did your friends and family react? I hope this is all in my head...
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