Am I catfishing to not immediately tell someone that I've started talking to or flirting with that I'm trans until (a) it becomes relevant or (b) I really feel comfortable with the person?
Oh of course. I just meant when talking like a friendship or flirting non-sexually. Like I had a guy once always flirt with me and call me cutie but once he learned I was trans he was livid. He told me that was wrong because he wouldn't have told me I was cute if he'd known because he's gay and apparently him thinkin I'm cute is not.My only rule is, "complete disclosure as soon as intimacy comes on the radar screen -- or before."
Even if you have had surgery and pass easily, I feel very strongly that trans people should always tell anyone with whom they may become intimate the entire truth about themselves. Gender affirming surgeries are strictly cosmetic, so it's more than naive to think anyone can "get away with" pretending to be CIS for very long. Also, if you are proud of who you are, why wouldn't you tell someone with whom you are close enough to become intimate the truth about yourself. If you can't trust them with that information, you shouldn't be in a position where you might become intimate with them. Regarding people other than those with whom you might become intimate, it's none of their business.it's often recommended to tell them from a safe distance that you are trans before getting intimate if you are pre-surgeries.