Alright, excuse my mouth, but what the hell is up with people saying "I don't hate or discriminate" but then proceed on saying bigoted things?

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New member
Aug 17, 2021
Pasadena, CA
Especially about gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people, etc. Case in mind, my stepdad. He was watching his almost 10yo son watch videos on TikTok while at the dinner table with the family and it said something about "bisexual," and my mom's sisters were around too agreeing with my stepdad that the agenda is "programming" the future generations.

My stepdad is highly offended by mentions of sexual orientations, but he's claimed before that he was a centrist, doesn't discriminate, etc etc. It's all freaking bullcrap. He tried to back his homophobic bigoted crap up by saying, "When he's an adult, he can make his own choices." This is what I don't get about Armenian culture.

I know a lot of actual moderates, conservatives and Republicans who are tolerant and loving. But my stepdad is just pushing it too far, even saying narcissistic crap like "I don't care what anybody thinks of me." Worst yet he works as a freaking MANAGER. How does anyone with either covert or overt bigoted beliefs still hold jobs??

He's lucky I didn't call him out because he gets easily triggered. I'm surprised my "Democratic" aunt even agrees with him (yes, I found out her political affiliation on years ago).

At least my staunchly conservative grandfather ON MY BIOLOGICAL DAD'S SIDE, who doesn't agree with gay marriage, says God didn't create hate. My "centrist" stepdad is just faking it. My stepdad makes my grandpa look like Bernie Sanders.

My stepdad implied that gays, bisexuals, and transgenders were all "mistakes" God didn't create and my staunch Republican aunt critiques the school system pointing out that it's "your choice to be a fairy." (Ironically, I agree with her on that point, it's really no one's choice to be gay, etc. Interestingly, my mom is lowkey the only non-bigot person and she knows what and how gay people go through, since she herself has a gay friend.)

Homophobes: You might as well say biracial couples were a mistake. If you wouldn't talk crap about black people, don't talk crap about gay people cowards.

I feel very upset on the inside when people say bigoted things about other people, even when it's not affecting me.


New member
Sep 1, 2021
North Carolina
Well the first thing to point out is TikTok, I hate that app, nothing but crap. When it comes to the hypocrisy of religious people (seems that most of the examples in your post deal are rooted in religion), if you peel that away you're left with people. People are both good and bad, virtuous and vicious. You'll find that people don't like to be called out on their own bullshit, hell even I don't lol. I also think many people want to believe they're better than they are, perhaps they think they sin less, give more, more polite. It is sort of a cognitive dissonance about one's self.

Your stepdad is easily triggered because he doesn't know much beyond his mutterings on the issue, or perhaps knows it is indefensible and thus feels attacked. We all know that it isn't a choice but it is something that many people do have a hard time getting their head around. At the same time though, you don't have to understand why someone is the way they are in order not to be an asshole. Just as I don't have to understand why someone is trans, or asexual or non-binary or whatever it is in order to accept them as they are.

Finally, I think the reason why people lead off with "I'm not racist but" or "I'm not against gays but..." and so on is they just lie to themselves.

The unfortunate thing with the modern world is that idiots can also get the large megaphone and spew out all sorts of putrid shit. Unfortunately, it is difficult if not impossible to reach some people, sometimes people don't want to be reach or just simply aren't capable. Ever seen the movie Idiocracy?

I'm not so sure I have good advice on how to deal with bigots that is civil, biting your tongue gets old and the hypocrisy that is in plain view, is infuriating. However, I'm not sure how reach those people, if anything the way social media and news media is driving the wedge in further.
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